EPISODE 2025-06-06 ELVIS

 In this episode we hear from Elvis. Elvis came to NA reluctantly, nearly walking away over its God-centric language, until he found his footing in secular meetings where his atheism was welcomed rather than condemned. He worked the steps by treating every higher power reference as "not applicable" — not as a protest, but as honest self-accounting. That combination of secular community and unflinching honesty has carried him to over six and a half years clean, and a life transformed beyond anything he once imagined. 

Here's Elvis.

For more information on recovery from addition through Narcotics Anonymous 12 step program from a secular, non-religious approach, please check out secularna.org

**  This podcast is not formally affiliated in any way with Narcotics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous World Services. **

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Greetings. Welcome and thank you for tuning into our podcast, Stories of Secular Recovery from Addiction Through Narcotics Anonymous. I am Michael E., coordinator and producer of the podcast. Each episode in the podcast is a story of addiction recovery from a member of Narcotics Anonymous, NA, who became clean in a secular, non-religious way. For more information about secular NA, check out our website, secularna.org. In this episode, we hear from Elvis who lives in Australia. Elvis came to NA reluctantly and nearly left when confronted with, in his words, the God-centric language. Fortunately, he found his footing in secular meetings, where his atheism was welcomed rather than condemned. Elvis ultimately worked the steps by treating every higher power reference as simply not applicable. Quote, every time a question came up about God, my answer was not applicable. Not because I'm being a smart ass, just that it is truly not applicable to me. Now, over six and a half years clean, Elvis credits the secular community and unflinching self-honesty, not belief, for a life transformed beyond anything he imagined. Here's Elvis.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Elvis, uh as I always introduce myself, addicted bifetal terran meat sec. Um uh uh I tend to identify as Terran. Uh I don't uh uh uh I I like to think we are all one people. Doesn't matter what we look like, where we come from, we are all one people. And uh I think in this day and age it's something important that we need to remember that we are all the same fundamentally underneath. Some of us are more the same than any, and that's that's us in this room. Um I just discovered today's today's six years and six months that I've that I've been here. So so that's sort of a quite an appropriate thing. But uh a quick sort of summary of why and and how I got here. Six years and nine months ago, uh uh um uh my partner uh uh had come along uh um and was attending this and suggested that I should come along. I looked at her and thought, you're fucking crazy. Sorry, look, I'm Australian, so I'll be there'll be there'll be the profanity lidded through at the left right in the center, so apologies in advance to anyone. Um you're fucking crazy, there's nothing wrong with me. And so she went off. Asked again a couple of weeks later, and I said, seriously, you're serious, you're fucking crazy, there's definitely nothing wrong with me. I am living the the the life of of of of of of Riley. And finally she asked a third time, and I thought, well, hang on, she cares about me, so she must be seeing something that I'm not seeing. So there's that maybe there is something in there. So I went along, and I went along to my first meeting. And like a lot of us here in the in the in the the atheist community, uh, cards on the table, I am what's called a Gnostic atheist. I know there is no God, right? So I don't entertain any any any mention of it. I think personally that religion was one of the hard the worst things that that that humanity has invented to control it, but that's for another discussion for another time. But that's that's where I come from. So when I came into the first meeting and sort of sitting there, there's a wide selection of people, people in the room, some that I've got comfortable, others I'm looking at, and the others I'm talking about are people in suits, right? Uh they're the ones that make me feel uh uncomfortable. What the hell's going on in this room? And I'm looking around and the posters on the on the wall and and and that word uh that that I'm not a fan of. Capital G-O-D. What the what the fuck have you brought me along to here? What what what is this this this thing? And then so they did the the initial readings and all that sort of stuff. Okay, and then and sort of two or three speakers in, I think it was the third or third speaker, started telling their story. And I'm sitting listening, going, hang on, hang on, hang on. How how does this dude know my story? And pretty much word for word, he's telling my story. And it was that moment, and I think everyone in the room saw the light bulb go up over my head that that that fuck get. I am an addict. Time to look in the mirror and face facts that that yes, I am an addict. My life was controlled by chemicals. Uh and and I probably deep down knew that, but never actually uh uh uh admitted it. Denial was no longer uh uh a river in Egypt, but denial was was it was a part of me, and I was uh uh finally coming to that the that that ugly realization that the that yeah shit I am an addict. Um I was lucky in some aspects that the the the I was that oxymoron, a functioning addict. Um eighty percent of my bills were paid on time, um, always paid rent, always sort of managed to keep f food food food in the house and all that sort of stuff. But only barely, uh only absolutely barely. Um the amount of stuff that I'd taken down to to pawn shops to to sell because I wanted to get more of what I was doing sitting on the couch, is sort of thing. I I I added up and thought, oh holy shit, you know. I I'm in a in a profession with a decent wage, but I never got ahead because I was always spending it on on stuff that that at that stage I thought I wanted. But it came to realize that it was that stuff that wanted me to spend on it. Uh it was the the the the the that trigger inside my brain that's saying that uh this is this is this is what you want to be to be happy. Uh from that moment on I stopped. Cold turkey, that was it. Uh um my drug of choice was pot, uh uh or weed marrow or whatever I want, whatever you want to call it. And I strongly uh uh uh uh disagree with anyone who says, oh, pot's easy to get off. No, it's fucking not, right? It it is not. It is just like any other drug, it is part and puzzle. It's what's in here that that that's that that's that that's the issue. It's not the chemical that you take to make the issue, it's what's in here. And but doing that uh cold turkey and and sort of sort of stop, I had horrendous cravings for the first six, seven months. And then I remember I had this dream. And I had this dream, and I was just in this room, and there was pretty much every counterculture drug uh uh uh um icon that you could think of was that was in this party. So it's already our teaching child was sitting there, and I was just sort of thing. And I remember sitting on this couch and Hunter S. Thompson come comes up to me and offers me a joint, and I say, no thanks, I'm not on that journey anymore. And that to me was the time that it did physically change. It did mentally change for me. I had no more no more cravings, and I knew that that that that that this path was was was the one, the path that I'm now is is is right for me, was right for me. So once I got the got sort of got got over that path, I started coming on realizing that well I need to start doing the steps and all this this this uh the this this look uh uh uh bizarre. But the first sponsor I got was well it started out being hardcore Christian and then sort of migrated into hardcore druid, right uh um uh which which which is weird sort of thing but I quickly realized that you know this is not a match for me, but this is not not gonna not gonna work out. And this whole um being driven by I got told I think third or fourth meeting in because I was uh when I my first year, I I opened up admitted told cards on the table, I'm an atheist. And the looks of scorn and derision I got from people around around the room. At the end of that meeting, I got told by this this let's say person to be polite, um, that if I don't get a belief in God, I'll never ever get clean. And my instant thought was fuck you. My second thought was well this is one of the most powerful motivators for for staying clean, because fuck you, I'm gonna stay clean out of spite, just so you can do it, just to prove you that the that that I don't need it. I can I can be clean on my terms and run this program on my terms. And by my terms, I mean the the the without the without the the the the the without the God stuff. I'm I'm I'm biting my tongue and not not uh trying not to not not to start to talk about geography terms for God, but that sort of thing. So then um sort of about six months in, we found looking through the the meetings, we found this meeting, the Friday night meeting in in Melbourne City. I'm from originally from um uh an outlying suburb of Melbourne, like 40k's from the city. So we made the trip into this meeting and it's the beyond belief Friday night one, and I met uh Anthony and I met a couple other a couple other people there, and I ended up staying afterwards for for a good hour and a half, speaking, speaking to Anthony, speaking about well, secular and at that stage it wasn't secular and A, it was just a meeting that was without God. Um and and that was the first real time that I felt like I belonged in this community, that I didn't have people uh uh telling me that I was doing it wrong, that I was that I was never gonna get claimed because I didn't believe in in in the invisible sky fairy. Um when people say, Don't you believe in anything? Yeah, I believe in plus that I believe in humanity, I believe in in science, I believe in what's going on. I'm I have a degree in physics, um, and one of the fundamental things you taught in physics is that what you know and believe in today can quite suddenly change tomorrow as a new fact is discovered. And I live my life like that. I don't know that that that's that's how I live. What I believe in today might not necessarily be true tomorrow, and I'm willing to go with that. There's some things that that that that I don't I I will not believe in because I'm very much a facts-based, evidence-based uh person, and what I see in front of me is what I believe. If if you can't give me evidence or we can't do peer re recreated uh um uh experimental experiments to prove it, then I'm not gonna believe it. Uh um. But anyway, so after six months, I sort of think and I found a new sponsor. The second sponsor I found was a hardcore Mormon, um uh, which now I happen to say he's very happy to say is an atheist. Um and I didn't spend any time trying to try to convert him, I just went through the went through the steps in that green and gold book with with him. Um and every time a question came up about God, my answer was not applicable. Not applicable to me. I I I can't answer that, and not because I'm being a smart ass, just that it is truly not applicable to me. I I can't I it's foreign to me. I I I don't know, I don't I don't understand it. Uh so I just didn't do it. So I just went through it. And then the Grand Equalizer COVID hit us. All right uh um and we're all sort of sort of locked up, well, the majority of sort of locked at home. I was very lucky to be one of those essential workers, so got to still roam around the countryside, and that was that was sort of esoteric and weird wandering around a city of how many in Melbourne now five million people with no one on the roads and no one on the streets and no one it's sort of like almost apocalyptic walking down there sort of thing. But that that's a again a separate separate story, but very, very strange and defining sort of moment of of both my generation or my or my life. But then because of this, all the the in in-person meetings got closed down and got closed down, boom, real sudden. We started opening stuff up, and suddenly this community, that this community that that we all know started to open up, start to expand. I found the the Seattle out Tuesday or Monday? You're on Belichick, yeah, you're you're on one meeting and started started to make friends, started to make friends. Then some some of you I know from that from from that meeting, and then expanded it and found more and more meetings and started to find online this community, this this community of fellow thinkers um who are in the same boat. I want to get clean, or I I want recovery, um, because at that stage it was no longer I want to get clean because I was clean, but I wanted to start to address the underlying issues of why I used and why I did that and and start to change my life. And I never thought um that life would change as much as it has through through through through the through this program. Just the simple act of doing the steps. The steps is great. The steps to me is just you hold it hold the mirror up to yourself uh and look in that mirror and and admit to yourself what what you've you've done. And you can you can be the person that that that just goes through the steps and it's just thing and and and the market off done that, don't worry about it. Or you can use them as a tool to examine yourself and use them as a tool to change uh uh your behavior and your thinking. And that's what I did. I learned a couple of really silly, seriously, major lessons out of doing that, which changed my life and changed my life for the better. Yeah, getting clean did not give me a house, did not give me anything like that, but getting clean made gave me the opportunities to do things that that that I never would have while while I was using. Um for whatever reason. I think that the the what while the majority of the reason why I wouldn't do it while I was using is because of the complacency. I was comfortable sitting on the end of the couch with my drug of choice going flying through. Um once I stopped doing that and once I started on this in this uh process of recovery, um I learned that I have to be honest with myself.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

But I also learned that that uh the only person I have to impress is me.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

And the only person I have to compete with is me. And that made me so much more comfortable. Uh uh and and uh I have the precious thing there is this is the I am I made no offense with this whatsoever. My attitude is fuck everyone else. Uh I don't care what you think of me. Um as long as I am comfortable with who I am, and I am, I am comfortable with who I am, I am uh uh uh I'm open, I'm clean, I'm happy, I'm living the life that I want. I don't hurt other people, I help people where I can, um, I support people where where I can, I support this this this community as as much as I possibly can. I am very open that I'm in this community in all aspects of my life. Uh I'm lucky in that that I have a job. Um I'm a public servant, I work for the government. Um but I have this and and I work in in NIT and in in for the government. So I'm lucky that the the uh they trust me enough to actually give me a security clearance, um, which these days is fine, but when I was using that, that yeah, that was that was iffy. Um uh but I'm also uh very happy very lucky in that I've got a job that that I can be open about the fact that that I I do I did have an issue with drugs. I do have a uh uh uh uh an ongoing um commitment to myself to improve myself. Uh like that improve myself stuff. Uh an ongoing uh uh commitment to make my life better. Uh uh and like I who would have thought that that the coming to this program would make your life better. Uh I that that was definitely not the further furthest, definitely one of the further things from my mind when I when I came along. Um but I have in the last six and a half years, um at work they do uh put on all these uh uh uh uh events, forums, staff development forums, that's what I'm thinking about, where they invite these um speakers in who get paid fucking ridiculous amounts of money to tell us exactly the same things that we learn here for free. Uh uh and and fundamentally all the the self-help uh s sort of stuff that I've learned, all the self-health uh stuff is given to us here, and the tools are given to us here, given to us here, and we can choose uh to use those tools or we can choose just to muddle on our life what whatsoever. I have learned there is a vast difference between uh getting clean and getting recovery. Um getting clean that's just getting off drugs. You can do that, right? People can do that. But getting recovery if you want to keep going, that's that's that's the thing that that that you really need to work on.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Um trying to think about how long it's been. Ninety days ago around 90 days, I gave up nicotine.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

And after being a nicotine addict for the majority of my the majority of my life, um I gave up cigarettes and started vaping, thinking that vaping is is is different. It's it's fucking not, it's the same. Uh um uh decided that the time was time was right there to to give it up and I gave it up. Comparatively, giving up all drugs was fucking a walk in the park. Absolute total walk in the park. Giving up nicotine has been ridiculously hard. I did not expect it to be anywhere near as difficult as it has been or it continues to be. Um I am continually getting uh cravings for for for a bit of a still. Um one of the other things I have to work on is this fella again. Uh uh COVID wasn't kind of me, I put on 40 pounds that I shouldn't have. Um I started to lose it, I gave up uh smoking, I'll put it plus more back and back on. But I've spoken to my doctor and and told them that you know I want to do this. And his his advice was don't do both. Do one at the one at a time. You have the smoking, then work on work on the work on the weight. And and that's that's the plan. Um, I'm just waiting for those drivings to stop. I'm waiting for the the six-month dream where where I where I'm sitting on a couch and someone who smokes and office means smoking, I say no. And hopefully I have that same moment that I did that I did with drugs. Um I'm sure I will. Uh it's just gonna be a matter of time. But yeah, anyone who anyone else who's who's giving up or who's giving up smoking, that's off to you. It's it's it's fucking hard work. Well, it all is drugs, strike, anything. Change is hard work. Uh uh, which is ironic because that's pretty much what my career is, is it's all about change. IT is all about managing change. Um, but yeah, managing change for others is much easier than managing change for yourself. Um I think that's sort of coming towards the end of runner because I can start to feel my voice starting to go, so that means I have been speaking for at least 15 minutes. Um but I will sort of uh sort of finish up by saying a a few things. One and two of the two the two things that I learned that that I hold the dearest to my heart at the moment are I don't need to compete with anyone, I don't need to impress anyone. So the reasons that are driving me forward are my personal personal reasons. I'm getting clean staying clean because I want to, I'm getting recovery because I want to, not because I think someone else would be impressed by by me doing this, not because I think someone else wants me to do it, I'm doing it because I want to. Um and it's an ongoing journey. Uh it's absolutely thoroughly 100% ongoing journey. Uh and and and it's a journey that that that day in, day out, I'm loving. Even on the fucking hard days, which getting clean doesn't stop you having hard days. Uh it's still there. But getting clean and being in this program gives you the tools to deal with those hard days so you don't so I don't fall back and go back to where I was. Um and I will finish back uh and we'll now finish with saying firstly thank you to everyone in this community, everyone in this room, some of you I know, some of you I know know fairly well, and and and have been on this journey with you, others I'm just meeting for the first time. But we all have that bond, and it doesn't matter what. strata of life to cover with a blue collar, white collar, whatever whatever we are, with white, black, orange, yellow, green, what it doesn't matter. We all have that same thing fundamental under we want to get clean. We want to change it, change the way the way we look on life. And we don't believe in God. But the more people that learnt this that learnt the stuff that we learn in this in this room about ourselves, if more people out of this community did the same as what we do in this community, the world would be a much, much better place. Because I found the people in this community and particularly in our version of this community, particularly and I are so much more and I don't like the word tolerant because it sounds like it's compromising, but but it it it is the the appropriate thing. But it's so much more tolerant of others. So much more so much more understanding of others. I think that's that's a better better way of put it understanding of others. And we do understand that that that that that life is a struggle but you do what you can with it and we are willing to help others. So to finish off I'll just say that anyone who's on this journey with me whether you've got 0.00001 seconds of clean time or even no clean time but you're just thinking of clean time and whether you've got 150 million years of clean time take a time every single day to pat yourself on the head or pat yourself on the back and reward yourself because it's a fucking hard job that we're doing but the rewards you get out of it are absolutely magnificent.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

And congratulate congratulate yourselves for the the the work you're doing of it take that time to enjoy but thanks for listening thanks for asking me to share it it it has been an honor um and wish you all another wonderful 24 or more thank you Elvis we particularly appreciate your closing message to the newcomers and it's worth repeating whether you've got 0.00001 second or a million years of clean time remember to pat yourself on the back because it's a hard job that we're doing but the rewards are absolutely magnificent. A reminder to everyone for more information on recovery from addiction through the Narcotics Anonymous 12 step program from a secular non-religious approach, please check out our website secularna.org that's S E C U L A R N A dot O R G. This is Michael E for the stories of secular recovery from addiction through Narcotics Anonymous podcast staying clean one speaker at a time